Human beings - Good or Bad?

Well, class, today's lesson is on the nature of human nature. Is it good or bad? I see hands raised. Good. I'm not going to choose you suck ups in the front row and all of you in the middle blend in with each other. You there. In the back. Yes, I know you were just stretching and, yes, I realize you have a crippling hangover. I mean, Christ, kid, you smell like a speakeasy and a brewery had nasty sex and you popped up. Oh, wait. That's me. Alright, I'll answer my own question. See, here's the deal Professor Dickhead; humans are assholes at heart. They're selfish assholes. Those of you that have the illusion that people ever do anything that doesn't directly benefit themselves and hurt others is out of the goddamn mind. Humans are animals, after all. Social, competitive animals. Well, all animals are social to a certain extent. You always hear about the "lone wolf" (could it be?). Wolves hunt in packs. Whales have pods, Geese have a gaggle, and so on and so forth. The point I'm trying to make is that humans never want to be alone. To this end, they do anything to fit in. This could mean buying the latest Prada purse, the next useless thing Steve Jobs wipes his ass with, joining a gang/cult/religion, or really just doing anything to be "loved" or to "fit in". You just need to watch Mean Girls to figure this out. Yes, I just cited a movie made for eleventeen - year - olds. It doesn't matter. Tina Fey is a genius. I digress. That is the epitome of the social climbing that humans do. Whether it be cliques, teams, families, etc. Everyone wants to be the best. Everyone wants to be the leader of their group of friends, the captain of the team. Families, as a whole want to be better than each other. It's just like the personal quest of being better than thy neighbor, but on a larger scale. So, essentially, my point is this: Humans are terrible twerps that like to hurt each other. Crime exists because of the Id that Sigmund Freud describes. Same with "sex addicts" (although you can't really call that an addiction), alcoholics, crackheads, and killers. Going back to my last post, these people just have more of an Id than the Tim Tebows and Mother Theresas of the world. The level of Id is just a different level of chemicals that cause "good" or "bad" decisions. Don't get me wrong; Mother Theresa and those of her altruistic ilk are doing things to get their pass to heaven, not to directly hurt others. She's hurting others by getting into Heaven and God knows there's not enough room for her conceit and me up there. I'm not saying I'm going to Heaven, I'm not. I know where I'm going and it's a lot warmer. At least I would be going there if it wasn't a fairy tale... I've gone on another tangent. Parents raising their kids are hurting other kids by taking resources away from others. Call me a communist, but that shit doesn't work either. It may look good on paper, but in practice, competition is the only thing that works because we are a competitive beast. Everyone has a hidden agenda. Give me one example, I dare you.

So, I'm going to join the guy in the gutter who's not hurting anyone but himself.

Life Sucks. But, Hey, At Least It's Not Your Fault...

I really hate when people question choices that they've made. Woulda, coulda, shoulda... I call bullshit. We can't make choices. It's not possible. Everything in the universe is made up of some sort of chemical compound. Explosions, fires, snot - they're all chemical reactions. Our body creates chemicals that keep us alive. Endorphins, Adrenaline, Seratonin, Dopamine... I'm not going to bore you with the details, but these chemicals alter our moods. Chemical reactions cause sodium and chlorine to turn into table salt and they cause a human being to experience feelings; such as happiness. Human emotions cause choices to be made. These choices are a part of the mind and cannot be heard or seen. Choice is fueled by emotion, a chemical reaction and, thus, humans have no free will—giving them as much “Humanity“ as a computer. Alcohol, cocaine, chocolate, sex, etc. all alter the levels of these chemicals; hence, the phrase "mood altering substances". Based on your "mood", you'll make certain decisions. Any moron can figure out where I'm going with this bad boy. Whatever level these chemicals are at, you will make a "good" or "bad" decision. Now, I'm not saying it's all up to weed, meth, or kentamine. Quite the contrary. Think about Acute Stress Response, the "Fight or Flight" complex. It can really be applied to any decision - the stimulus, in this case. Whatever the decision, whatever the stimulus, you must make a decision. everyone thinks they make their own decision - why, then, does history always repeat itself. It's because these decisions are made by the chemicals in your DNA and in your brain. "But, what about free will?", you ask. Well, that's not free, kids. Free will comes when you indulge in those "mood altering substances". Letting go and doing things you normally wouldn't is the only way you can spit in the face of nature. Otherwise you are doomed to live a boring, predestined life. Love is a result of a person’s hormones and pheromones--both chemical reactions. Human beings have the same algorithmic qualities as computers. They are called emotions. As a result of a stimulus, an emotion is called upon. As a result of this emotion, a choice or an action is made. It is mathematics. 1+1=2. Stimulus + Emotion = Response. Chemistry is made up of mathematics for a reason. Electrons orbit around a nucleus, social groups orbit around an alpha male, computer processes around a CPU, moons around planets, planets around suns, and so on into infinity. What makes gravity so different in each case? Which one has the most choice? Do any of them? Think about that the next time you have a drink.

Blogger has a revelation. It's not funny.

While drinking a beer the other night, I had an epiphany - Not drinking sucks. I've quit drinking before and life is just not that fun without the firewater. Granted, I have a mild to raging alcohol problem, but life is just more fun when you've got a good buzz going. Or you're blacked out. You make better decisions (sometimes), have WAY better luck with the opposite sex (most likely because you are too drunk to notice that she is a beast of mythical proportions), and are generally more outgoing, funny, and gregarious. Plus, who would be there to mock douchebags if I didn't drink?

Anyway, I'm bored of writing this and I have to get to Happy Hour but, as you can tell, this blog will be to recount the nights that I may - or may not - remember.